In case you missed it, I recently shared my passion for sublimely horrible movie trailers.   My hypothesis is this: Truly God awful movies have moments in which the horrendous acting, ridiculous plot, unbearable dialogue, and atrocious special effects come together to create pure comedy.  Generally, this is unintentional on the filmmakers’ part and buried in ninety minutes to two hours of dreck, so you don’t get to see them.  Movie trailers, on the other hand, show only the best parts of a film in an attempt to convince potential viewers that the whole thing is just as good (it’s probably not).  So when an insufferably bad movie has a trailer, you get see to those hilariously terrible scenes without seeing the film.   Here are just a few of my most recent discoveries:

Here we have a standard example of a horrible movie trailer.  It follows all the rules that I laid out in my initial guide.  Clichéd voiceover? Check.  Wooden acting? Well, the majority of the lines are either fake screaming, obviously pretend startled gasps, and yelling of the word “Gooby!” So, check. Any actors with some reputation or fame? Dude, it’s Eugene Levy, frequent collaborator with mockumentary/comic improv master Christopher Guest, better known as the dad from American Pie.  Check.  Elements of science fiction or fantasy for piss-poor special effect?  Oh yeah!

You know what makes me want to see a movie?  When the trailer uses over the top sound effects.  Gimme some screeching tires, whipping swipes for those quick cuts, the scratch of a record needle, car crashes, and of course, FART NOISES!  This movie looks hysterical, but not for any of the reasons it’s supposed to be and certainly not for Heather Graham, Jerry O’Connell, or John Corbett.

Nicolas Cage is the king of horrible movie trailers.  Yes, this is a sequal/spinoff/franchise continuation of the Harvey Keitel ultra-violent classic Bad Lieutenant.  Yes, that’s also Val Kilmer.  Yes, it’s directed by award winning independent filmmaker Werner Herzog.  And yes, you did hear the lines, “You don’t have a lucky crack pipe?” and “Shoot him again, his soul is still dancing!”

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