John Stamos

True Story: I was hanging out with Kate last week.  We were just lounging in her living room.  She was aimless surfing the internet on my laptop while I was flipping through a magazine.  It was one of those evenings when all you can muster to do is nothing, because the work day has just burned away every ounce of energy. When, suddenly, the silence of exhausted boredom was broken.

“Oh, did you hear that thing about John Stamos?” Kate asked, nonchalantly.
“No,” I said, not even bothering looking up.  My general contempt for John Phillip Stamos knows no bounds (He knows what he did!).
“Well, apparently he’s making a ‘Full House’ movie,” said Kate.
“Oh dear God, like a reunion special? You have to be kidding me.”
“No, it’s um,” she said trying to gather the interest needed to continue the conversation, “….like…a prequel. That’s going to be all them starting like just after the Mom dies.”
“Yeah and he’s going to get James Franco to play a young Jesse, Steve Carell in the Bob Saget part, and Tracy Morgan as Joey.”
“As Joey?! Really?”
“That sounds…actually pretty awesome.”
“I know right,” she said, adding: “Maybe you can finally forgive him for his crime against you and end your feud.”
“Maybe,” I said.

What’s so striking isn’t the concept of Stamos’ “Full House Movie” (in fact, it seems kind of dull), but rather the casting.  It’s so packed with great comic actors (Yeah, James Franco is comic actor, didn’t you see Pineapple Express?) that if handled it right, it could be an avant-garde comedy masterpiece.  Can you just imagine Steve Carell and Tracey Morgan improving off of one another, as “Full House” characters?  That would be awesome.

The next day, I did a little research online and found a bunch of articles about the movie and blogs about how great it was going to be.  And then I found this source article.  There’s no movie, it’s just Stamos talking out of his ass on the red carpet—a “dream project,” if you will.  Anyone can come up with awesome movie ideas based on classic TV shows. Look, here are three I just made up:

  • A MacGyver movie, staring an aged Richard Dean Anderson, in which MacGyver is an old man and uses his bag of tricks to escape from an assisted living facility, but is frightened by modern technology which he can’t understand or work.
  • A Smurfs live action movie in which we find out that the Smurfs are just Gargamel’s hallucinations and don’t really exist.
  • A Doogie Howser prequel where he’s working his way through Med School and beginning puberty at the same time.

See John, it’s not that hard.  Oh, and the feud is still on!!