I’m a mess. Seriously, I’m all over the place and ragged around the edges.  My apartment looks like a tornado went through it.  I’m behind on a million projects (both personal and professional) and have a laundry list of deadlines I’ve simply blown past without even the slightest attempt at getting something in for them.  Hell, I can’t even keep up with updating this blog or working out regularly (two things I should have mastered and do without much thought by now).  But the Pièce de résistance of my deteriorated state is that for the past week and a half, I’ve been sleeping on dirty sheets while a set of clean bedding lay folded on the bed with me.  Why?  I just couldn’t get around to changing them.

guyHow did this happen?  What could have led to this downward spiral?  It’s actually pretty simple.  I’ve been really busy.  It seems strange to make this argument: but for a little over a month now—I’ve been running around with stuff to do and places to go.  From weddings to a somewhat working vacation, I’ve been traveling up and down the East Coast.  And the chaos of the past few weeks has thrown my routine completely off and I just let things slip into disarray.  This is nothing new and I’ve gone through this song and dance a million times before: my life gets hectic and crazy, I end up neglecting certain aspects, things get messy, and then I work to get my shit together, get organized, set up a routine, fight to stick to it, things get back together, and then the whole process begins again.  I feel like I go through this cycle every few months and I’m beginning to suspect that I like it.

I’m just realizing that it’s easier to pick up the pieces than to keep everything from falling apart.  There’s direction and energy that comes on this wave of excitement to fix everything.  Whereas when things are organized and you’re following a laid out routine, it’s kind of dull and aggravating to stick to.  The thing is—it’s continuing to follow though on that monotonous routine and keeping your shit together that gets you to your overall goals.  It always the actual work, not gearing up and setting to do it.  So I’ve got a new goal:  I’ve got to stick to the boring grind that I set up and not let it slip away.  Maybe this time it’ll work.

[Pic via about.com]

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