Ladies, we need a moment.  Halloween is fast approaching.  I know, right?  Where does the time go?  It seems like just yesterday it was the middle of summer and now here we are, almost at the end of October.   Personally, I love Halloween.  Ever since I was a kid, it was my favorite holiday and I would spend weeks planning what I would go as.  These last two weeks especially have a place in my heart.  This is when party invitations start arriving, decorations come out, and final costume decisions are made.   That’s why I’ve chosen now to address an issue with your entire gender.

I’ve held my tongue about something I see every Halloween for years, but I can’t anymore.  I mean no disrespect to say this, but: dressing slutty doesn’t count as a costume. I’m not the first to make this complaint, but it seems that every year all I see are sexy schoolgirls, naughty nurses, or god know what else with the attached sexual adjective.  The last straw for me was this:  a sexy dogcatcher.dogcatcher

WHAT THE HELL?!  I’m not offended by the short skirt, I’m offend by how lame a costume idea this is!

When I was younger, I enjoyed seeing such blatant ritualistic displays of female sexuality. Contrary to what others may say—I am a man…a straight man.  And as much as I’ll claim to embrace the spirit and cause of feminism and women’s rights, I’ll always be that and carry the, huh, “desires” that come with it.  But come on!  Dressing up for Halloween is meant to showcase your imagination, your wit, or at the very least some sort of long lost fantasy (no, not that kind of fantasy).  It’s not about donning the style and dress of some member of a uniformed class that’s been forced into prostitution!  That’s just stupid.

Look, I’m not saying you can’t choose a costume that’s risqué or showing some skin, just don’t make that the whole purpose.  Why not a Victorian prostitute that’s been murdered by Jack the Ripper and has risen from the grave as a zombie?  Or a stripper that’s been bitten by a vampire and beginning to turn into one of the undead?  And if you want to show off your legs, what about Wonder Woman?    It’s not the sexuality that’s bothersome,  it’s the lack of imagination.  And isn’t that what Halloween is supposed to be all about?

[Pic via]